Letters of life

The days were uncertain. The fears were dropping from the skies every minute, letting everyone be worried about their own safety. Freedom was a non-defined word. Bowed heads, closed minds, and sealed lips ensured a fragile peace, a shadowy surrender void of vibrance and will.

These were the days in Kyiv, where my story begins. Anna would share candies, wildflowers, and stories with the children in the playgrounds, nestled around the family blocks of brutalist architecture. The kids smiled joyfully, gazing at her with curiosity, captivated by this young, unfamiliar girl who had appeared from nowhere in their neighbourhood.

Not long ago, Anna graduated from a Russian literature course in Moscow and was sent to teach in a public school in Kyiv. Nobody cared if she would leave her hometown and settle in a different part of the country. The rulers decided she must go, conforming to their belief that spreading Russian people around the soviet territory would help to homogenise the cultures. But Anna did not mind. In fact, she took this order as a new opportunity to learn about a different culture and meet new people, saying that since we all smile in the same language, this new job would open new doors. And kids are everywhere. Kids who need hope and inspiration, education, and empowerment. So, she packed her life into two bags and took Kostya, her brother, the only family she had left.

The new city absorbed Anna in the fantasies of stories she was sharing at school, then, in the evenings, to the kids in the playground. The heroes of the tales stepped out from the scripts and taught the block kids how the good forces always win, no matter how long, deep and dark the struggle is. Anna was giving the kids candies, smiles, and hugs of joy. They loved her and her way of making them feel valued. While children took the new experience in their house and shared it with their parents; this unusual activity of Anna was noticed very quickly by the secret agents of the State Security Service.

“Anna, you are exceptionally good at your work. I see how children adore your classes,” said the school’s headteacher. “I put your name down for the new security meeting. They want to recruit you and report them about children and their families.”

“But I don’t know what it’s about,” Anna replied.

“Don’t worry! They will explain everything. You only need to follow their guidance and do the tasks they ask for, and I guarantee you that soon you will be a successful teacher. Be submissive and do not cause us trouble, please!” added the headteacher in a formal and emotionless tone. “Also, keep in mind that they know your brother’s route to school” added the headteacher with a high-pitched voice. Suddenly, Anna started sweating and trembling, feeling the beating of her heart stressing her neck.

The next day, Ivan Ivanovich, a dedicated security agent, appeared at the school’s entrance, requesting to speak with Anna.

“Anna, maintaining order in our community is everyone’s responsibility. People need to live in peace while remaining obedient to the political party, forming the foundation of prosperity in our country. To ensure this harmony, those with the necessary skills must monitor and report on the activities within their surroundings. Your role is to observe the children and report on their behaviour, language, and interactions.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help. I don’t want to be part of your team. Spying on people’s lives is something that compromises my integrity. I just… I just can’t…” mumbled Anna, her voice barely audible as her head spun. A wave of tension gripped her, sending spasms through her muscles. Her vision darkened, her gaze dropping as an overwhelming faintness overtook her. Moments later, she collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

It was dark and cold when Anna opened her eyes, her senses stirring awake to the fragile hope that flickered in her mind. I give unto you the power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. The words echoed repeatedly in her mind, like a mantra, as her tongue moved inside her mouth in the shape of a cross. She knew she believed with all her heart that nothing could harm her. Nothing.

The door creaked open, and two men entered the dim room.

“Anna, you are in prison now,” Ivan Ivanovich declared, his voice sharp and unyielding. “The country does not need your so-called integrity. Your duty as a citizen is to obey the government’s rules. You must comply with our requirements! In the meantime, we will teach you a lesson!”

He raised a finger sharply, signalling the other two militia officers to step forward. With a grave expression, Ivan turned and exited the small, cold, murky chamber.

Terrified, Anna closed her eyes tightly, retreating into the sanctuary of her thoughts. She began to pray slowly, her spirit reaching for strength as darkness enveloped her.

The two men busied themselves, preparing their tools of punishment. One sneered, “Stupid girl, today you’ll learn to fear the rod!”

Before Anna could fully process the looming threat, a flicker of terror overwhelmed her, and she closed her mind against the demonic dread that consumed her. But just as the tension peaked, a sudden noise echoed from the corridor, sharp and unexpected, cutting through the oppressive atmosphere like a blade.

A strange calmness filled the room for a fleeting moment, the silence almost palpable. Overwhelmed, Anna felt her strength slip away once more, and she sank into unconsciousness.

When Anna opened her eyes, she found Kostya gently caressing her head. This time, she wasn’t met with cold and darkness but the comforting warmth of their apartment. The golden hues of the setting sun streamed through the window, painting it with the soft smiles of hope.

“Welcome back to life, my beautiful angel,” Kostya said, his voice filled with joy. Tears of relief slipped down his cheeks, carrying away the torment of the past two days. “You are safe now. They brought you back home and said everything was fine. You still have your job, but there is a condition: you are no longer allowed to see the children in the evenings. It is their way of ensuring peacefulness.”

That evening, the weight of fear and uncertainty began to lift as the siblings found solace in one another. The hours passed with shared memories, bursts of laughter, and whispered dreams, a testament to the unbreakable bond of family.

In the following weeks, Anna returned to the evening playgrounds despite the restrictions. Yet, the children who once flocked to her lingered at a wary distance. Whispers and rumours had cast her in a shadowy light— strange, schizophrenic, even dangerous. Parents steered their children away, convinced the stories held some truth.

But children, ever curious and drawn to mystery, could not resist the pull of Anna’s stories. Slowly, the whispers lost their sting as her tales began to resurface. Before long, the playground once again became her stage. She greeted the little ones with candies, bright smiles, and bundles of wildflowers. They gathered around her, captivated by her enchanting stories, proving that light can break through, even amidst whispers of doubt.

***

Time turned its pages, stretching the story across three decades. In that span, the Soviet Union crumbled with the fall of communism.

Ivan Ivanovich, the former secret agent, returned to his hometown, a suburb of Moscow, where he found work as a cleaner in a public school. Old and regretful, Ivan sought only peace, avoiding political and social affairs. The weight of his past, all the compromises he had made, had stripped him of his integrity. Now, as his joints ached with the weight of dark memories, he yearned for the quiet gate of redemption, hoping to reclaim his good character and honesty.

One day, coming to work a bit early, he saw Anna. The young woman that tricked him a long time ago, puzzling his mind into a thousand pieces. He recognised her by the eyes’ sparks. The eyes encountered his words with the power of serenity, a stillness he had never seen before. “I must apologise to her for my horrendous past behaviour, and of course, the forgiveness is at her discretion. But surely, I must say sorry,” spoke Ivan to himself.

…And he did it.

Anna, gentle and approachable, forgave him, asking no favour in return.

But Ivan continued: “Anna, precious Anna, I have been wondering all these years and could not explain it to myself or others. There was something strange around you. When you were trapped in the dark prison chamber, just as the two militia members moved to harm you, an army of soldiers appeared out of nowhere. They formed a protective shield around you, driving the men away. For two days, nobody could enter your cell. Finally, a nurse was allowed by your guardians after we agreed to let you go. Since that day, the secret agents could never catch you alone again. You were always guarded by that outlandish army of fighters. But who were they, Anna?

“I don’t understand what you speak about, Ivan Ivanovich! I have no clue about any soldiers. I only asked God to protect me. And He did and always does!”

The tale of the young girl who shared smiles, hope, stories, and candies still echoes today in the suburbs of Kyiv. She has become a symbol of childhood, like a living icon, where angels themselves inscribed her legacy in delicate, golden letters of life.

Image credit: Pixabay